A little more humor

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"... bottles won't fit in typewriter!

March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said, "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast-stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!

August - Got locked out of car in rainstorm.....car swamped, because top was down.

September - Lost on a TV quiz show. The capital of California is "C"....isn't it?

October - Hate M&M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4-1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!

December - Couldn't call 911... "duh"... there's no "eleven" button on the phone!