humor

Ten Words That Don't Exist, But Should

1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the
ability to turn the
bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act,
when vacuuming,
of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a
dozen times, reaching
over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it
back down to give the
vacuum one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the
piece of confection (lollipop)
you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming
this will somehow remove
all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people
maneuvering for one
armrest in a movie theater.

5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that
refuses to be swept onto
the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the
room until he finally
decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n.
Manhandling the "open
here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has
to resort to the
'illegal' side.

7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy
restaurant whose sole
purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if
they want fresh ground
pepper.

8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of
dialing a phone number and
forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a
window after a dog
presses its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The
act of always letting
the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up,
even when you're only
six inches away.