Earlier this month I wrote that the younger generation needs a few more gay icons that they can look up to. Now 27-year-old former 'Nsyncer Lance Bass has come out of the closet. He kept it hidden for years, certainly during 'Nsync's heyday but now he's decided to come out and let people know how relieved he is and how comfortable he is to be out and proud. Just don't plan on seeing him headline any parades; that doesn't seem to be his cup of tea nor should it as long as he is true to himself and lets people know that there's nothing wrong with being gay. And talk about a small world, he is currently in a relationship with Reichen Lehmkuhl, one of the winners of The Amazing Race back in 2003. Bass met Lehmkuhl through the real estate market. If you are a fan of AR, you'll remember that Lehmkuhl and then partner, Chip Arndt, won the million dollars on AR. Good for you, Lance. No word yet on which guys will be coming out of the closet from Backstreet Boys or 98 Degrees. But stay tuned!
peace,
paul
Monday, July 31, 2006
weekly post from July 29, 2006
Hello friends & loved ones,
Another week has passed and it seems as if all summer (so far) it's either been raining or hot and humid. Today it is hot and humid with the threat of rain. It's been a long week for both Jim and me and we spent today just doing nothing; at least nothing we had to do. Last night I was so exhausted that I fell asleep on the couch during a movie. I've never fallen asleep during a movie (I did come close with The DaVinci Code) and it was the first time Jim ever saw me fall asleep on the couch, sitting up. I don't think I had done that before during our relationship. I always just go up to bed. Today Jim baked and I mowed and then we cleaned off our bookshelves. Then we went to the city and did a few errands and then dinner at Ruby Tuesday. We even got a nap in. It was a relaxing and productive day. Whatever you are doing today and this weekend, I hope you are enjoying yourself.
peace,
paul
Another week has passed and it seems as if all summer (so far) it's either been raining or hot and humid. Today it is hot and humid with the threat of rain. It's been a long week for both Jim and me and we spent today just doing nothing; at least nothing we had to do. Last night I was so exhausted that I fell asleep on the couch during a movie. I've never fallen asleep during a movie (I did come close with The DaVinci Code) and it was the first time Jim ever saw me fall asleep on the couch, sitting up. I don't think I had done that before during our relationship. I always just go up to bed. Today Jim baked and I mowed and then we cleaned off our bookshelves. Then we went to the city and did a few errands and then dinner at Ruby Tuesday. We even got a nap in. It was a relaxing and productive day. Whatever you are doing today and this weekend, I hope you are enjoying yourself.
peace,
paul
weekly post from July 23, 2006
Hello friends & loved ones,
It's been a long week and now it's Sunday night and Jim and I are just chilling. We had dinner with a couple on Saturday and then today Jim and another preacher swapped pulpits; he preached at the Tawa Pano Unity Christian Fellowship, a church for GLBT people of color and the other preacher spoke at our church. Let me tell you the people in Tawa Pano (it means we are here) have it going on when it comes to singing and boogeying and clapping and stomping. I found myself easily getting into their groove and even giving a shot a clapping in syncopation. It was wild and fun. And I got to see Jim preach in a style I had never seen. He is truly a chameleon. Everytime someone said, "Say it again," Jim did just that. Then we managed, somehow, to make it back to our church to hear the other preacher. After that we had lunch and then did some errands. We managed to get home between 5 and 6 after leaving around 7:15am. Then I suffered a major asthma attack which I had thought was pneumonia. I had trouble breathing for the past two days and it got progressively worse. At the beginning of the week I had problems with sinuses and I had feared it turned into pneumonia or bronchitis. I'm feeling much better now and we're just sitting and watching America's Got Talent. There are some peculiar people out there. And David Hasselhoff is the Paula Abdul of the show. You may or may not know that Paula Abdul is the flaky and trite host of American Idol.
Jim and I celebrated three years as a married couple this past week and for his anniversary I got him a new watch (which he had been wanting but he "lost" the other watch I bought him) and he got me XM satellite radio. Now he's jealous of my gift and I'm always wanting to look at his watch because I never wear a watch; maybe I should start again. There was a time I could not leave the house without one on.
peace,
paul
It's been a long week and now it's Sunday night and Jim and I are just chilling. We had dinner with a couple on Saturday and then today Jim and another preacher swapped pulpits; he preached at the Tawa Pano Unity Christian Fellowship, a church for GLBT people of color and the other preacher spoke at our church. Let me tell you the people in Tawa Pano (it means we are here) have it going on when it comes to singing and boogeying and clapping and stomping. I found myself easily getting into their groove and even giving a shot a clapping in syncopation. It was wild and fun. And I got to see Jim preach in a style I had never seen. He is truly a chameleon. Everytime someone said, "Say it again," Jim did just that. Then we managed, somehow, to make it back to our church to hear the other preacher. After that we had lunch and then did some errands. We managed to get home between 5 and 6 after leaving around 7:15am. Then I suffered a major asthma attack which I had thought was pneumonia. I had trouble breathing for the past two days and it got progressively worse. At the beginning of the week I had problems with sinuses and I had feared it turned into pneumonia or bronchitis. I'm feeling much better now and we're just sitting and watching America's Got Talent. There are some peculiar people out there. And David Hasselhoff is the Paula Abdul of the show. You may or may not know that Paula Abdul is the flaky and trite host of American Idol.
Jim and I celebrated three years as a married couple this past week and for his anniversary I got him a new watch (which he had been wanting but he "lost" the other watch I bought him) and he got me XM satellite radio. Now he's jealous of my gift and I'm always wanting to look at his watch because I never wear a watch; maybe I should start again. There was a time I could not leave the house without one on.
peace,
paul
Friday, July 28, 2006
movie minute
Dead In The Water: The film Lady In The Water by M. Night Shyamalan started out as a story he told his children and the film is reflected as such. It stars Bryce Dallas Howard (yes, Ron's daughter) as Story (how appropriate) who is a Narf from the blue world and she has a penchant for jewelry and makes pithy statements and likes to parade around wearing nothing but a t-shirt or just nothing at all. Paul Giamatti plays Cleveland "of the hills" Heep (definitely one of the strangest named characters of all time), the super of an apartment complex who discovers Story swimming in the pool late one night. Story is there to help an unsuspecting tenant discover his potential, his destiny and then, and only then, can she be whisked back to her world (a heroine no doubt) on the wings of an eagle. However, there is an ugly and evil creature who likes to hide in the grass who is stalking Story and will stop at nothing to destroy her before she can make it back home. Shyamalan does have an interesting story; all of us are connected and what happens to one person happens to us all. The problem with this film is that there are too many unanswered questions: Why does Story's hair change from red to blond? How can Cleveland stay underwater for so long without breathing? Why does he stutter? Those are just a few questions. The biggest problem with this film, and you may have heard already, is that Shyamalan cast himself in a pivotal role; one that is not small either. I've no problem with the "Alfred Hitchcock" syndrome, however, the director better be a damned good actor to put him/herself in an important role. Shyamalan is not such an actor, he's not even good. The good news is the Giamatti and Howard give moving performances. Giamatti hits another homerun and Howard could have a long and prosperous career; she has "it." In the end the movie is not as terrible as the director's own Unbreakable but it's not even close to the caliber of the movies The Sixth Sense, Signs, or even The Village. Out of a possible 5 bags of popcorn, I give this film 1 1/2 bags.
paul
paul
Thursday, July 27, 2006
humor
Can you imagine if these cards were really found in Hallmark's store?
THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
H ow could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
I! 've always wanted to have
Someone to hold,
Someone to love.
After having met you .
I've changed my mind.
I must admit, you brought religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)
Happy birthday!
You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
We have been friends for a very long time ..
let's say we stop?
I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
peace,
paul
THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
H ow could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
I! 've always wanted to have
Someone to hold,
Someone to love.
After having met you .
I've changed my mind.
I must admit, you brought religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)
Happy birthday!
You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
We have been friends for a very long time ..
let's say we stop?
I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
peace,
paul
This & That Thursday
Not that there's anything wrong with that: In the August issue of Oprah's self-titled O magazine, she makes clear that she and bff Gayle King are just that: Friends and nothing more. The issue is about friendship and the talk show queen felt the need to reiterate to everyone out there that the two can be close friends "without being sexual." I guess that means they don't watch The L Word.
One for the road (or just a shortcut): Tour de France winner, Floyd Landis, must have been in more than a little pain during the three week race: He has a bum hip. That didn't stop him during one leg of the race from whetting his whistle. In one day he went from first to 11th place because he had a "bonk." That's slang for losing energy. So what did he do? He stopped into ye pub and had a beer. The next day he got right back into the race and moved back up to third (did he have a stout at that pub?) and then finally winning the race. Landis injured his hip during training in 2003. What's next for the winner of the 93rd Tour de France? Having hip surgery, of course.
peace,
paul
One for the road (or just a shortcut): Tour de France winner, Floyd Landis, must have been in more than a little pain during the three week race: He has a bum hip. That didn't stop him during one leg of the race from whetting his whistle. In one day he went from first to 11th place because he had a "bonk." That's slang for losing energy. So what did he do? He stopped into ye pub and had a beer. The next day he got right back into the race and moved back up to third (did he have a stout at that pub?) and then finally winning the race. Landis injured his hip during training in 2003. What's next for the winner of the 93rd Tour de France? Having hip surgery, of course.
peace,
paul
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Notable Quotes
Many of you saw the videotape of our President, George Bush, eating like a barnyard animal and talking shit, literally with Tony Blair at the G8 Summit. You may have even seen him rub the shoulders of German chancellor Angela Merkel in his "frat-boy-hey-how-YOU-doin' manner. He also had this to say during the G8 summit. "Just going to make it up. I'm not going to talk too damn long like the rest of them." He had that to say to best friend forever? Tony Blair.
Paris Hilton is known for a) her humanitarianism b) her versatility as an actress c) her sex tapes and sleaziness d) her wonderful singing voice. If you didn't choose C then you better give yourself 50 lashes. Paris Hilton, the scion of the Hilton hotel family now has her sights set on being something besides provocateur, floozy, and Minnie mouse sounding songs. "Every decade has an iconic blond like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana, and right now I'm that icon." How brazen and shameful of her to put herself in the same league as Princess Diana and Marilyn Monroe. Not on her best day.
peace,
paul
Paris Hilton is known for a) her humanitarianism b) her versatility as an actress c) her sex tapes and sleaziness d) her wonderful singing voice. If you didn't choose C then you better give yourself 50 lashes. Paris Hilton, the scion of the Hilton hotel family now has her sights set on being something besides provocateur, floozy, and Minnie mouse sounding songs. "Every decade has an iconic blond like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana, and right now I'm that icon." How brazen and shameful of her to put herself in the same league as Princess Diana and Marilyn Monroe. Not on her best day.
peace,
paul
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
the elephant in the room
Dozens are dying each day in Iraq and I'm not talking about just US soldiers; Sunnis and Shiites continue to kill each other every day. Sectarian violence is rampant. My spouse and I disagree on whether it is a civil war or not; I say it is and he says not. I am firmly convinced that it is because technically a civil war is fighting between two different groups of a country. Yes, there are certain criteria that decide whether it is a civil war or not and several of those are already met. The pundits claim it is but the politicians are loathe to say so. Why? That would confirm what many in this country already know: that the situation in Iraq is a mess and out of control.
peace,
paul
peace,
paul
Sunday, July 23, 2006
pride3
A pic of our group during the parade. The balloon float is a fish which is the Christian symbol and there are two gold rings in the center of the fish which represents marriage between two men or two women.
pride
A pic from the pride parade. We were waiting for our turn to jump into the parade. As you can see everyone is in high spirits, some more than others (but I don't know who that would be). Check out the dude on the left!!!
the first time
Here is a posting of my first sermon which I gave on April 2 of this year.
Readings: Jeremiah 1:5-8
Romans 14:1-4
Rebel Yell
I’m obviously not dreaming because if I were, I wouldn’t really be up here. I read all of the scriptures for this week. And then I read them again and reread them and I just could not get anything to jump out at me for a sermon topic. So I came up with an idea on what I wanted to talk about and from there I was pointed in the right direction for scriptures that fit my topic. These scriptures could not have been more perfect and they got me thinking about some seemingly harmless phrases that we hear all the time. How many times have you heard one of these phrases? Please behave. Whatever you do, don’t do anything to embarrass me. Please be on your best behavior. Why can’t you be more like your brother, sister, or so and so? How many of us have heard these phrases as children? How about as adults? Just what do these phrases mean? They seem so harmless on the surface yet there’s something very insidious about these phrases and the way they are used in society today. The underlying meaning of these phrases is meant to say to us, “Suppress yourself. Hide who you are.” How many times have you wanted to rebel against someone else’s will being imposed upon you? We see people everyday, mainly kids in my experience, who are searching for their own identity regardless of the reactions of others. What if we could be that brave? What if we could be that fearless? How many times in our lives have we kept our true selves hidden because we were afraid of what someone else would think? Because we didn’t want someone else tearing us down or judging us or making us feel less than human? Our history, yes, our history, is rife with people being silenced because of their opinions, their beliefs, their outspokenness and that is just not acceptable. We think, well that can’t possibly happen in 2006 but it does; every day. Our differences make us targets for others who can’t stand to see someone who is comfortable within their own skin. And not just the obvious differences but also the ones we can’t see. In Romans, Paul says, ‘welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with-even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department.’ This could apply to any one of us, anyone we hear or read about in the news every day, and any one of the conservative Christians who try to say we are condemned to hell because of who we are. Each week I spend some time listening to people who don’t share the same views as I do, whether it be on Fox News, Focus On The Family, or Bob Lonsberry. I do this not because I enjoy hearing what these people have to say but because I think it’s important to hear the negative rhetoric just as much as hearing the positive. For me, I need to know what’s out there and what people are saying. It’s important to know what’s happening in our city, our country, and our world. It’s not my place to try and silence these people. It is my place to separate out the truth from everything else and to spread that truth to others. God will handle the rest, as it says in Romans. Why should we worry about what others believe or how they’ll react to what we believe? To read the passage in Romans is to realize that just because we all attend the same church does not mean we all see the world the same way or do things the same way. That may sound facile but we need to realize that everyone comes with his or her own history and baggage. God made each and every one of us differently and we dress differently, we eat differently, we live differently and we think differently yet we can all come to the same table each week. We need to be free to voice those differences without fear of recriminations or judgments. I’ve got a new guilty pleasure, the TV show American Idol. On the show three judges offer criticism of each contestant’s performance. Invariably, when it comes time for judge Simon Cowell to offer his opinion, the audience boos and the other judges say things that are meant to discount Cowell’s opinion. Now I don’t know how much of that stuff is scripted or how much is shtick and Cowell does say some things that I think are quite harsh but it speaks to the way our society treats people with differing opinions. Our society scorns people who offer dissenting opinions, no matter what the topic. Our society seems to want everyone thinking and believing the same thing and it just doesn’t work that way. Not that I would ever make it to the American Idol stage but if I were up there I would want an honest critique and not just something bland or neutral like that was good or I liked it. When we try to fit everyone together as one we get rebellion. All we have to do is look at our French neighbors and the riots in that country. It’s imperative that we don’t discount an opinion just because it doesn’t match ours or because we don’t like the sound of it. That’s what Paul is speaking about in Romans, listening to all of the voices and welcoming them even when we don’t like what we hear and see. We need to be aware that we aren’t silencing those voices. There’s enough silencing without our additions. There are censors all around us these days. Of course we hear the censors ready to bleep out someone’s profanity. But we also see an original and thought provoking show like The Book Of Daniel get cancelled because some people didn’t like what it contained, we hear about people wanting Howard Stern or Dr. Laura off of the air because their opinions aren’t of the majority. Whatever happened to changing the station; to turning off the TV or radio? What happened to free speech? We’re all coming from different places and have had different things happen in our lives that make us who we are today. We can’t control the thoughts and actions of others and likewise we should not let them control us. I spent a number of years thinking I was less than human because my family found out I was gay and they laid their opinions on me and made it seem like I had a problem. It took me a long time to realize that I wasn’t the one with the problem. The problem was theirs. I knew who I was and they didn’t like it so they wanted to condemn me. We as GLBT people know that feeling all too well and many of us are still living with condemnation. We have enough problems with day-to-day stuff like jobs, bills, and food without trying to deny who we are. We need to be stronger than the people that condemn us. We may not yet truly know who we are or be able to bring that person out but God knows and God knows what we can do. That’s what the Jeremiah passage talks about, God knows what we can do and all we have to do is let go of the fear inside of us and believe. Last week Jim talked about the God-Light that each one of us has. If we shine that God-Light we can see who we are and what we can do and anyone who wants to stand in our way better look out. When Jim was called as pastor of this church, I was fearful and uncertain as to where I would fit in within the church. I had to look inside and realize that I had a separate identity and then realize the gifts I had. I also realized that I had to be true to myself and not try to fit someone else’s expectations. That was the hard one. Every now and then I still get a bit insecure and think that maybe I am too social or too loud or act too gay but as long as I know who I am then I’m being true to the person God made then God will handle the rest. While working on this sermon, I remembered a roommate I had in college whom I found out was gay. I was not attracted to him, however, there was something appealing and refreshing about his outspokenness. He was very frank with people and he didn’t mince words. At first I found that very off-putting because I wasn’t used to people like that but I soon realized that was who he was. He found it better to be direct and in that I found something to respect. Who was I to deny him friendship because I wasn’t used to that? If I had known then that I would end up being harassed and go before the judicial body of the college, would I have still set out to be friends with him? At the time I probably would have said no but now I think, yes, I would have. It was a learning experience and I’m a better person for having had it. We as GLBT people may have a harder time being true to ourselves and yet that makes it so much more important. No our sexuality is not the sole definition of who we are; there is so much more to us than that. I’ve made it through the trials of my past; they weren’t the end of the world. Our mind always paints the worst-case scenario; reality is rarely as bad as our imagination makes it. Our trials make us stronger and better people and they enrich our lives. If we shine that God-Light inside and discover who we truly are then we can bring out our true selves. Show your true selves. Demand to be accepted as you are and accept others as they are even if you don’t agree with what they are saying. Be proud and yes, be loud. We need to stand up and shout I will not be silenced and never compromise ourselves. Then God can use us to spread truth and love and acceptance of all people, everywhere. And we can do so boldly, fearlessly, and with conviction.
Readings: Jeremiah 1:5-8
Romans 14:1-4
Rebel Yell
I’m obviously not dreaming because if I were, I wouldn’t really be up here. I read all of the scriptures for this week. And then I read them again and reread them and I just could not get anything to jump out at me for a sermon topic. So I came up with an idea on what I wanted to talk about and from there I was pointed in the right direction for scriptures that fit my topic. These scriptures could not have been more perfect and they got me thinking about some seemingly harmless phrases that we hear all the time. How many times have you heard one of these phrases? Please behave. Whatever you do, don’t do anything to embarrass me. Please be on your best behavior. Why can’t you be more like your brother, sister, or so and so? How many of us have heard these phrases as children? How about as adults? Just what do these phrases mean? They seem so harmless on the surface yet there’s something very insidious about these phrases and the way they are used in society today. The underlying meaning of these phrases is meant to say to us, “Suppress yourself. Hide who you are.” How many times have you wanted to rebel against someone else’s will being imposed upon you? We see people everyday, mainly kids in my experience, who are searching for their own identity regardless of the reactions of others. What if we could be that brave? What if we could be that fearless? How many times in our lives have we kept our true selves hidden because we were afraid of what someone else would think? Because we didn’t want someone else tearing us down or judging us or making us feel less than human? Our history, yes, our history, is rife with people being silenced because of their opinions, their beliefs, their outspokenness and that is just not acceptable. We think, well that can’t possibly happen in 2006 but it does; every day. Our differences make us targets for others who can’t stand to see someone who is comfortable within their own skin. And not just the obvious differences but also the ones we can’t see. In Romans, Paul says, ‘welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with-even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department.’ This could apply to any one of us, anyone we hear or read about in the news every day, and any one of the conservative Christians who try to say we are condemned to hell because of who we are. Each week I spend some time listening to people who don’t share the same views as I do, whether it be on Fox News, Focus On The Family, or Bob Lonsberry. I do this not because I enjoy hearing what these people have to say but because I think it’s important to hear the negative rhetoric just as much as hearing the positive. For me, I need to know what’s out there and what people are saying. It’s important to know what’s happening in our city, our country, and our world. It’s not my place to try and silence these people. It is my place to separate out the truth from everything else and to spread that truth to others. God will handle the rest, as it says in Romans. Why should we worry about what others believe or how they’ll react to what we believe? To read the passage in Romans is to realize that just because we all attend the same church does not mean we all see the world the same way or do things the same way. That may sound facile but we need to realize that everyone comes with his or her own history and baggage. God made each and every one of us differently and we dress differently, we eat differently, we live differently and we think differently yet we can all come to the same table each week. We need to be free to voice those differences without fear of recriminations or judgments. I’ve got a new guilty pleasure, the TV show American Idol. On the show three judges offer criticism of each contestant’s performance. Invariably, when it comes time for judge Simon Cowell to offer his opinion, the audience boos and the other judges say things that are meant to discount Cowell’s opinion. Now I don’t know how much of that stuff is scripted or how much is shtick and Cowell does say some things that I think are quite harsh but it speaks to the way our society treats people with differing opinions. Our society scorns people who offer dissenting opinions, no matter what the topic. Our society seems to want everyone thinking and believing the same thing and it just doesn’t work that way. Not that I would ever make it to the American Idol stage but if I were up there I would want an honest critique and not just something bland or neutral like that was good or I liked it. When we try to fit everyone together as one we get rebellion. All we have to do is look at our French neighbors and the riots in that country. It’s imperative that we don’t discount an opinion just because it doesn’t match ours or because we don’t like the sound of it. That’s what Paul is speaking about in Romans, listening to all of the voices and welcoming them even when we don’t like what we hear and see. We need to be aware that we aren’t silencing those voices. There’s enough silencing without our additions. There are censors all around us these days. Of course we hear the censors ready to bleep out someone’s profanity. But we also see an original and thought provoking show like The Book Of Daniel get cancelled because some people didn’t like what it contained, we hear about people wanting Howard Stern or Dr. Laura off of the air because their opinions aren’t of the majority. Whatever happened to changing the station; to turning off the TV or radio? What happened to free speech? We’re all coming from different places and have had different things happen in our lives that make us who we are today. We can’t control the thoughts and actions of others and likewise we should not let them control us. I spent a number of years thinking I was less than human because my family found out I was gay and they laid their opinions on me and made it seem like I had a problem. It took me a long time to realize that I wasn’t the one with the problem. The problem was theirs. I knew who I was and they didn’t like it so they wanted to condemn me. We as GLBT people know that feeling all too well and many of us are still living with condemnation. We have enough problems with day-to-day stuff like jobs, bills, and food without trying to deny who we are. We need to be stronger than the people that condemn us. We may not yet truly know who we are or be able to bring that person out but God knows and God knows what we can do. That’s what the Jeremiah passage talks about, God knows what we can do and all we have to do is let go of the fear inside of us and believe. Last week Jim talked about the God-Light that each one of us has. If we shine that God-Light we can see who we are and what we can do and anyone who wants to stand in our way better look out. When Jim was called as pastor of this church, I was fearful and uncertain as to where I would fit in within the church. I had to look inside and realize that I had a separate identity and then realize the gifts I had. I also realized that I had to be true to myself and not try to fit someone else’s expectations. That was the hard one. Every now and then I still get a bit insecure and think that maybe I am too social or too loud or act too gay but as long as I know who I am then I’m being true to the person God made then God will handle the rest. While working on this sermon, I remembered a roommate I had in college whom I found out was gay. I was not attracted to him, however, there was something appealing and refreshing about his outspokenness. He was very frank with people and he didn’t mince words. At first I found that very off-putting because I wasn’t used to people like that but I soon realized that was who he was. He found it better to be direct and in that I found something to respect. Who was I to deny him friendship because I wasn’t used to that? If I had known then that I would end up being harassed and go before the judicial body of the college, would I have still set out to be friends with him? At the time I probably would have said no but now I think, yes, I would have. It was a learning experience and I’m a better person for having had it. We as GLBT people may have a harder time being true to ourselves and yet that makes it so much more important. No our sexuality is not the sole definition of who we are; there is so much more to us than that. I’ve made it through the trials of my past; they weren’t the end of the world. Our mind always paints the worst-case scenario; reality is rarely as bad as our imagination makes it. Our trials make us stronger and better people and they enrich our lives. If we shine that God-Light inside and discover who we truly are then we can bring out our true selves. Show your true selves. Demand to be accepted as you are and accept others as they are even if you don’t agree with what they are saying. Be proud and yes, be loud. We need to stand up and shout I will not be silenced and never compromise ourselves. Then God can use us to spread truth and love and acceptance of all people, everywhere. And we can do so boldly, fearlessly, and with conviction.
Would you like bile with that?
You may have heard that CBS has been advertising its fall shows on eggs. Yes, when you open the carton of eggs you may find little messages about some of CBS's biggest shows and most anticipated new ones. How about a CSI omelette? Now US Airways has taken the advertising game a step further and will offer advertising on......(drum roll please).......their barf bags. If only I could make this up myself!!! Yes, they will be letting people advertise on their sick bags as a way to offset rising fuel costs. US Airways is no stranger to financial woes, having gone bankrupt more than once. Maybe someone will have an advertisement and the barf bag and people will be taking the bags with them as they get off the plane. Here are some other ideas for things to advertise on: How about little messages on potato chips (you could eat several different ones each day), toilet paper (a little something extra to read while doing your business), ziploc baggies (a friendly reminder when you pull something out for dinner). Sick of all the ideas yet? Don't forget your barf bag.
paul
paul
Saturday, July 22, 2006
paul's pulpit
I survived my second time at the pulpit and have decided to copy my sermon text here on my blog for all to see. Enjoy!
Reading: Psalm 98:1-8
The Ultimate Thrill
I had a heck of a time deciding how to start and then I thought I would try something a little different. If you would all humor me for a few minutes, everyone close your eyes. Don’t worry; nothing bad is going to happen, just close your eyes. I’m even going to close mine. Now, take a deep breath and relax. Imagine you’ve had a long and exhausting day and sleep is beckoning to you. Now picture yourself in a field of flowers; green, yellow, blue, purple, red, the whole rainbow of colors. It’s a sunny, early September day, mid-morning and there is a gentle breeze blowing. It’s the perfect temperature. You look up at the sky and there’s not a cloud to be found and it is so blue that it seems as if you could just plunge into its ocean like depths. You suddenly feel yourself floating up, up, up toward the blue sky. You feel as high as the birds. You then feel yourself stop, as if suspended in the air and you see yourself in a rollercoaster car just before you plunge toward the ground at warp speed. (Loud Clap) You awake with a start; uncertain if it was something you heard that woke you or your internal system alerting you to danger. You are sweating and your heart feels as if it is going to leap out of your chest. You feel alert, aware of everything around you; every part of you feels alive. That’s an adrenaline rush; a mixture of excitement and fear. How many of you are alive this morning? Now that we’ve established everyone is alive on the outside, how many of you are really alive? I’m not talking about existing; I’ve no doubt that each of you has a pulse. I’m talking about being totally alive, outside and inside. How many of us find ourselves just going through the motions of each day; not really taking the time to enjoy life, to savor it, to feel life? I’d like to read you a list: mountain climbing, bridge jumping, skydiving, horror movies, roller coasters, and extreme sports. These are just some things that people do every day in order to feel a thrill, excitement, a rush that comes from inside. I’d like to offer another thrill: Singing God’s praises. You may wonder how that could possibly be thrilling. In today’s reading from Psalm 98, it talks about the whole earth coming to attention to sing God’s praises. “Round up an orchestra to play for God, add on a hundred-voice choir. Feature trumpets and big trombones. Fill the air with praises to God. Let the sea and fish give a round of applause, with everything living on earth joining in.” What an awesome and exciting image. Can you imagine what it would be like if every single living thing on this earth were all singing God’s praises at the same time? So what holds you back? Why aren’t you feeling that thrill inside? Are you oppressed and worn down each day by the daily grind of life? Are you worn down at work, worn down by the news each day, worn down as LGBT people by others who want to condemn us and keep us down? Are you worn down by doubts and fears that you create for yourself? Doubts and fears that come from your family, old tapes, baggage you carry around and the feeling that you aren’t good enough or worthy enough. So how can we possibly sing God’s praises when we’re so filled with “stuff?” We have to realize that we only get one chance at life. When we realize that, how could we possibly not make the most of it, get the most out of life that we can? In the movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray’s character seems destined to relive the same day over and over again for eternity. He gets no pleasure out of life and has become jaded and bitter. At one point he even declares himself a god because he dies in a variety of ways and yet wakes up the next day unmarred by the previous day’s death. It’s not until he becomes more humane, lets go of himself, and starts appreciating the things around him that he is allowed to move on. Many of us may feel that way; stuck, going around and around and doing the same things the same way. We need to let go of ourselves. Notice I said let go of ourselves and not let ourselves go. There is a difference. To let ourselves go is to no longer take pride in ourselves or care about anything or anyone. To let go of ourselves is to surrender our ego, jettison the baggage we carry around, throw out the old tapes, and lose the guilt and fear, to become a new person full of life and energy and appreciation. In order to have God inside of us and sing God’s praises, we have to have room for God. As long as we are full of ancient baggage, and worries and fears, there’s no room for God. There is another way that we die inside and that’s when we experience loss. You’d be hard pressed to find someone in this room who hasn’t lost someone close to them. It’s not the person who dies that is hurting; it’s the one who is left behind. Why do we allow ourselves to act like we are the ones that died? If you’ve ever been to an Irish wake, they celebrate, they drink, they laugh, they reminisce and, most importantly, they continue to live and celebrate the person who has died. There’s a line in the film Ordinary People that sums it up perfectly, “You’re here and you’re alive and don’t tell me you don’t feel that.” The last piece of this is why it’s so important to make room for God. Why it’s so important to sing God’s praises and continue the work that we do. There are people out there we have yet to touch. There are others out there who don’t yet believe that they can be gay and loved by God, that they are worthy. We have to believe inside what we are teaching otherwise we can’t make others believe. There’s a passage in Matthew 23 in which Jesus calls the religious scholars frauds. He says, “People look at you and think you’re saints, but beneath the skin you’re total frauds.” I’ve seen teachers and preachers burn out because they’ve lost that inner fire, that energy, that life force that one must have to be a teacher. It’s not possible to teach effectively without that fire inside. We have to rise above the oppression of daily life and rekindle that fire inside so we can preach what we practice and practice what we preach. Then we can make sure we are living a life of truth, inclusivity, and love. And lest you think it’s too late for you to have God inside, fear not. It seems as if there’s always one person in a relationship who takes forever to get ready. They stand in front of the mirror, they primp, and they hold things up. Meanwhile, the other person is waiting patiently, asking, ‘Are you ready yet?’ That’s God. God is waiting for you, patient, kind, loving. In Philippians it says, “Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in God. If you were present for the parade last week, you saw that our group was truly reveling in God both inside and outside. We so believed in what we were marching for, we were so alive with truth and love that we drowned out the protesters. I honestly could not tell you what one of them said, I was so intent on shouting God’s praises. That’s something we should all be doing; letting God be our adrenaline rush. We are a church alive. As we sing the sermon response, it’s a song I know you are familiar with; I challenge each and every one of you to get that fire going inside. I challenge each of you move away from death and toward life. Let the words of the song transform you, move you and inspire you. Feel free to sing out and sing proud.
P.S. The song I sang after the sermon was Tim McGraw's Live Like You Were Dying
Reading: Psalm 98:1-8
The Ultimate Thrill
I had a heck of a time deciding how to start and then I thought I would try something a little different. If you would all humor me for a few minutes, everyone close your eyes. Don’t worry; nothing bad is going to happen, just close your eyes. I’m even going to close mine. Now, take a deep breath and relax. Imagine you’ve had a long and exhausting day and sleep is beckoning to you. Now picture yourself in a field of flowers; green, yellow, blue, purple, red, the whole rainbow of colors. It’s a sunny, early September day, mid-morning and there is a gentle breeze blowing. It’s the perfect temperature. You look up at the sky and there’s not a cloud to be found and it is so blue that it seems as if you could just plunge into its ocean like depths. You suddenly feel yourself floating up, up, up toward the blue sky. You feel as high as the birds. You then feel yourself stop, as if suspended in the air and you see yourself in a rollercoaster car just before you plunge toward the ground at warp speed. (Loud Clap) You awake with a start; uncertain if it was something you heard that woke you or your internal system alerting you to danger. You are sweating and your heart feels as if it is going to leap out of your chest. You feel alert, aware of everything around you; every part of you feels alive. That’s an adrenaline rush; a mixture of excitement and fear. How many of you are alive this morning? Now that we’ve established everyone is alive on the outside, how many of you are really alive? I’m not talking about existing; I’ve no doubt that each of you has a pulse. I’m talking about being totally alive, outside and inside. How many of us find ourselves just going through the motions of each day; not really taking the time to enjoy life, to savor it, to feel life? I’d like to read you a list: mountain climbing, bridge jumping, skydiving, horror movies, roller coasters, and extreme sports. These are just some things that people do every day in order to feel a thrill, excitement, a rush that comes from inside. I’d like to offer another thrill: Singing God’s praises. You may wonder how that could possibly be thrilling. In today’s reading from Psalm 98, it talks about the whole earth coming to attention to sing God’s praises. “Round up an orchestra to play for God, add on a hundred-voice choir. Feature trumpets and big trombones. Fill the air with praises to God. Let the sea and fish give a round of applause, with everything living on earth joining in.” What an awesome and exciting image. Can you imagine what it would be like if every single living thing on this earth were all singing God’s praises at the same time? So what holds you back? Why aren’t you feeling that thrill inside? Are you oppressed and worn down each day by the daily grind of life? Are you worn down at work, worn down by the news each day, worn down as LGBT people by others who want to condemn us and keep us down? Are you worn down by doubts and fears that you create for yourself? Doubts and fears that come from your family, old tapes, baggage you carry around and the feeling that you aren’t good enough or worthy enough. So how can we possibly sing God’s praises when we’re so filled with “stuff?” We have to realize that we only get one chance at life. When we realize that, how could we possibly not make the most of it, get the most out of life that we can? In the movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray’s character seems destined to relive the same day over and over again for eternity. He gets no pleasure out of life and has become jaded and bitter. At one point he even declares himself a god because he dies in a variety of ways and yet wakes up the next day unmarred by the previous day’s death. It’s not until he becomes more humane, lets go of himself, and starts appreciating the things around him that he is allowed to move on. Many of us may feel that way; stuck, going around and around and doing the same things the same way. We need to let go of ourselves. Notice I said let go of ourselves and not let ourselves go. There is a difference. To let ourselves go is to no longer take pride in ourselves or care about anything or anyone. To let go of ourselves is to surrender our ego, jettison the baggage we carry around, throw out the old tapes, and lose the guilt and fear, to become a new person full of life and energy and appreciation. In order to have God inside of us and sing God’s praises, we have to have room for God. As long as we are full of ancient baggage, and worries and fears, there’s no room for God. There is another way that we die inside and that’s when we experience loss. You’d be hard pressed to find someone in this room who hasn’t lost someone close to them. It’s not the person who dies that is hurting; it’s the one who is left behind. Why do we allow ourselves to act like we are the ones that died? If you’ve ever been to an Irish wake, they celebrate, they drink, they laugh, they reminisce and, most importantly, they continue to live and celebrate the person who has died. There’s a line in the film Ordinary People that sums it up perfectly, “You’re here and you’re alive and don’t tell me you don’t feel that.” The last piece of this is why it’s so important to make room for God. Why it’s so important to sing God’s praises and continue the work that we do. There are people out there we have yet to touch. There are others out there who don’t yet believe that they can be gay and loved by God, that they are worthy. We have to believe inside what we are teaching otherwise we can’t make others believe. There’s a passage in Matthew 23 in which Jesus calls the religious scholars frauds. He says, “People look at you and think you’re saints, but beneath the skin you’re total frauds.” I’ve seen teachers and preachers burn out because they’ve lost that inner fire, that energy, that life force that one must have to be a teacher. It’s not possible to teach effectively without that fire inside. We have to rise above the oppression of daily life and rekindle that fire inside so we can preach what we practice and practice what we preach. Then we can make sure we are living a life of truth, inclusivity, and love. And lest you think it’s too late for you to have God inside, fear not. It seems as if there’s always one person in a relationship who takes forever to get ready. They stand in front of the mirror, they primp, and they hold things up. Meanwhile, the other person is waiting patiently, asking, ‘Are you ready yet?’ That’s God. God is waiting for you, patient, kind, loving. In Philippians it says, “Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in God. If you were present for the parade last week, you saw that our group was truly reveling in God both inside and outside. We so believed in what we were marching for, we were so alive with truth and love that we drowned out the protesters. I honestly could not tell you what one of them said, I was so intent on shouting God’s praises. That’s something we should all be doing; letting God be our adrenaline rush. We are a church alive. As we sing the sermon response, it’s a song I know you are familiar with; I challenge each and every one of you to get that fire going inside. I challenge each of you move away from death and toward life. Let the words of the song transform you, move you and inspire you. Feel free to sing out and sing proud.
P.S. The song I sang after the sermon was Tim McGraw's Live Like You Were Dying
wicked witch
This past week the Governor of Virginia, Tim Kaine, pardoned a woman who was imprisoned. The woman was accused of being a witch....300 years ago. Back in 1706, Grace Sherwood, was accused of being a witch and her neighbors decided to test their theory. Her thumbs were tied to her big toes in a cross bound manner and she was put in the water. The belief was that water was pure and would not allow a witch to sink into its depths. Sherwood didn't sink, she floated. As a result, she was considered guilty. I'm half tempted to try this myself just to see if I would float. In fact, next time I'm in the water, I think I'll have someone do that. Kaine issued an informal pardon and it doesn't really matter because she died 266 years ago. The only people it would matter to would be her descendants. The other side to this is that if Sherwood had sunk she would have been innocent but she also would have drowned. Like any one of her neighbors would dare jump in and save her.
paul
paul
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Dead Men DO tell tales
Well, we've just come from seeing Pirates Of The Caribbean:Dead Man's Chest and I never thought it would end. It's been three years since the first film and had that film not had the word curse in it, it would have been wise for the title of this film to include it. It doesn't improve upon the original. All of the main players are back (naturally), Johnny Depp (as Cap'n Jack Sparrow), Keira Knightley (as Elizabeth Swann), and Orlando Bloom (as "young" Will Turner). Depp does some interesting new things with his am-I-drunk-or-Keith-Richards-or-both role but what was fun and inspiring in the first film wears thin after a while. This film is all about the special effects; they take up most of the film. Even though this one is only about 7 mins longer than the first one, it seems interminable. It's one of the most bloated films I've seen in a while. Several scenes go on way too long and it lacked the pizzazz of the first film. It's not a terrible film yet it falls into the same category as most other sequels of great films; just ok. If you are looking for special effects and no character development, this is the film for you. One thing it does do nicely is set up the third film which will come out next year. Stay tuned......
paul
paul
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
word, quote of the week
Prosopagnosia, a condition that affects about 5 million people in the U.S., is a hereditary condition in which people cannot recognize the faces of friends, families, and even their own face. It used to be thought a rare condition but a new study, published in American Journal of Medical Genetics, proved that it's much more common. Prosopagnosiacs can identify the parts of a face they just cannot identify the features of a particular person. And while they can be trained to memorize faces, they could pass by a family member or friend on the street and not even blink an eye in terms of recognition. Remember that next time you see someone you don't want to engage; sorry, I just suffer from face blindness.
Keep YOUR kids off the streets!!! You may have seen the footage of Russian President Vladimir Putin crouching down next to a young boy who was standing in a group of tourists. Putin then proceeds to kiss the boy's stomach. Here's what Putin had to say about the incident: "I'll be honest, I felt an urge to squeeze him like a kitten and that led to the gesture I made. There was nothing behind it really." Ok, and if I were to approach a hot guy and kiss his ass, there'd be nothing behind that either.
paul
Keep YOUR kids off the streets!!! You may have seen the footage of Russian President Vladimir Putin crouching down next to a young boy who was standing in a group of tourists. Putin then proceeds to kiss the boy's stomach. Here's what Putin had to say about the incident: "I'll be honest, I felt an urge to squeeze him like a kitten and that led to the gesture I made. There was nothing behind it really." Ok, and if I were to approach a hot guy and kiss his ass, there'd be nothing behind that either.
paul
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
humor 7/11
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore..
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST MORALE ENHANCEMENT PROVIDER."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL" OR "VERTICALY CHALLANGED".
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED"
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore..
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST MORALE ENHANCEMENT PROVIDER."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL" OR "VERTICALY CHALLANGED".
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED"
weekly post from July 9, 2006
Hello friends & loved ones,
I hope everyone had a nice 4th and a terrific pride. We had wonderful weather for it. Jim and I have been going non-stop since Friday. On Friday, I slept a few hours and then met Jim in the city and we had dinner with two women from church. I had to work Friday night (I am off tonight) and then on Saturday I slept for about three hours before meeting Jim in the city (he did a prayer for the grand opening celebration of a gay coffeehouse). Then we drove to the parade site and marched in the parade. After the parade, we went to a diner owned by a Vietnamese guy (yummy Asian food) with some girls from church and then made it home by 10. Today we had an interfaith service at the park and then stayed for the picnic in which our church had our own tent. We had a very nice turnout of people both days. We watched the NBC and Fox local news and Fox had a coming up spot in which I was briefly seen stomping my feet and waving my arms. Jim thought I looked wonderful but I'm my own worst critic. It was one of the points in the parade in which we were stopped and I was trying to keep the energy up. Both stations featured clips of our church people. We had on tie-dyed shirts that said, "Would Jesus Discriminate?" They really infuriated the protesters. We did an excellent job of drowning them out, as did some people standing on the sidelines. Our church are really incredible. All in all it was a wonderful weekend. I did take a number of pictures and posted a few of them on my blog (I mean a few). I didn't want to ask a whole bunch of different people if I could put their likeness on my space. Sadly, there are none of me. I have to get better at asking people to take pictures of Jim and me. If I receive any of me from other people I will make sure and put them on there.
Until next week, when I'll be taking another shot at the pulpit (yikes!), stay safe, stay, happy, and stay healthy.
love,
paul
I hope everyone had a nice 4th and a terrific pride. We had wonderful weather for it. Jim and I have been going non-stop since Friday. On Friday, I slept a few hours and then met Jim in the city and we had dinner with two women from church. I had to work Friday night (I am off tonight) and then on Saturday I slept for about three hours before meeting Jim in the city (he did a prayer for the grand opening celebration of a gay coffeehouse). Then we drove to the parade site and marched in the parade. After the parade, we went to a diner owned by a Vietnamese guy (yummy Asian food) with some girls from church and then made it home by 10. Today we had an interfaith service at the park and then stayed for the picnic in which our church had our own tent. We had a very nice turnout of people both days. We watched the NBC and Fox local news and Fox had a coming up spot in which I was briefly seen stomping my feet and waving my arms. Jim thought I looked wonderful but I'm my own worst critic. It was one of the points in the parade in which we were stopped and I was trying to keep the energy up. Both stations featured clips of our church people. We had on tie-dyed shirts that said, "Would Jesus Discriminate?" They really infuriated the protesters. We did an excellent job of drowning them out, as did some people standing on the sidelines. Our church are really incredible. All in all it was a wonderful weekend. I did take a number of pictures and posted a few of them on my blog (I mean a few). I didn't want to ask a whole bunch of different people if I could put their likeness on my space. Sadly, there are none of me. I have to get better at asking people to take pictures of Jim and me. If I receive any of me from other people I will make sure and put them on there.
Until next week, when I'll be taking another shot at the pulpit (yikes!), stay safe, stay, happy, and stay healthy.
love,
paul
weekly post from July 3, 2006
Hello friends & loved ones,
Better late than never is what I've always heard. I was too lazy to get all of my thoughts together over the weekend so I'm doing it now. On Saturday we spent the day rolling t-shirts for tie-dying that we will be wearing in the gay pride parade next weekend. We didn't stay for the tie-dying part (did I mention the shirts were tie-dyed?) but we left in time to see the spouse of the woman in charge of the event look worried as the people planned to tie-dye, in the house. This will be the third time since I've moved to the area that I have marched in the parade and the second year that I'll be out in front holding our sign. The girl that I'm holding it with and I are thinking of something scandalous we can do as we pass the inevitable protesters. It's so sad they don't have truth on their side. I almost feel sorry for them; ALMOST. I'm so glad I can just be myself and not be afraid or worried.
And speaking of being myself, I grew up in a church where stuffy was the norm and during community greeting we had the square handshake (or the four walls handshake). That's when the hands of your four immediate neighbors are shaken; the two to the left and right, the one behind and the one in front. No one else counted; we didn't move around as we couldn't care less about the others. It's bad enough we had to shake the hands of four people. That is, unless one was fortunate enough to sit in the very back then only three hands had to be shaken. Twenty seconds (if that) was all it took and it was over. It's so refreshing now to be a part of a church where I can be myself and not have to worry about people judging me or expecting me to act a certain way. And how wonderful that we can laugh and even clap in church. That was all but forbidden in the church I grew up in. I know some people who have come to our church have been scared away because it's not stuffy; it's anything but. Some new people seem to expect the same old staid and rigidity of their "old" churches. Community greeting is an event that seems to get longer and longer each Sunday and it seems to take the pastor more and more time to regain control (but he could regain it quickly if he really wanted to). I'm sure I scared a few people in church yesterday as I danced, jigged, praised and then some during service. It's so freeing and fun. I don't know why every church isn't like that. Who knew the little Miss. Lutheran boy had so much Pentecostal feeling in him?
I wanted to write something semi-deep this week and Jim commented last week, "Just write naturally." I was thinking and thinking about what I would write, however, and then on my way home from work this morning my mind wandered off; all on its own. And before I knew it I had passed three exits without even realizing it and I had my topic. I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.
Happy 4th and remember you ARE free to be yourself. Be safe, be happy, and be healthy.
love,
paul
Better late than never is what I've always heard. I was too lazy to get all of my thoughts together over the weekend so I'm doing it now. On Saturday we spent the day rolling t-shirts for tie-dying that we will be wearing in the gay pride parade next weekend. We didn't stay for the tie-dying part (did I mention the shirts were tie-dyed?) but we left in time to see the spouse of the woman in charge of the event look worried as the people planned to tie-dye, in the house. This will be the third time since I've moved to the area that I have marched in the parade and the second year that I'll be out in front holding our sign. The girl that I'm holding it with and I are thinking of something scandalous we can do as we pass the inevitable protesters. It's so sad they don't have truth on their side. I almost feel sorry for them; ALMOST. I'm so glad I can just be myself and not be afraid or worried.
And speaking of being myself, I grew up in a church where stuffy was the norm and during community greeting we had the square handshake (or the four walls handshake). That's when the hands of your four immediate neighbors are shaken; the two to the left and right, the one behind and the one in front. No one else counted; we didn't move around as we couldn't care less about the others. It's bad enough we had to shake the hands of four people. That is, unless one was fortunate enough to sit in the very back then only three hands had to be shaken. Twenty seconds (if that) was all it took and it was over. It's so refreshing now to be a part of a church where I can be myself and not have to worry about people judging me or expecting me to act a certain way. And how wonderful that we can laugh and even clap in church. That was all but forbidden in the church I grew up in. I know some people who have come to our church have been scared away because it's not stuffy; it's anything but. Some new people seem to expect the same old staid and rigidity of their "old" churches. Community greeting is an event that seems to get longer and longer each Sunday and it seems to take the pastor more and more time to regain control (but he could regain it quickly if he really wanted to). I'm sure I scared a few people in church yesterday as I danced, jigged, praised and then some during service. It's so freeing and fun. I don't know why every church isn't like that. Who knew the little Miss. Lutheran boy had so much Pentecostal feeling in him?
I wanted to write something semi-deep this week and Jim commented last week, "Just write naturally." I was thinking and thinking about what I would write, however, and then on my way home from work this morning my mind wandered off; all on its own. And before I knew it I had passed three exits without even realizing it and I had my topic. I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.
Happy 4th and remember you ARE free to be yourself. Be safe, be happy, and be healthy.
love,
paul
Sunday, July 09, 2006
More humor
This is probably more true to life than we may want to admit.
Why the USA is in trouble (these are supposedly all from politicians).
A Washington, D.C., airport ticket agent offers some examples of why the country is in trouble!
I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight, and the passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look stupid, calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts; Capetown is in Africa," Her response - click.
A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to expla in that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state!"
I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."
An aide for a cabinet member once called, and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a one hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."
An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am, and got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
A New York lawmaker called, and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing), I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, California, is (FAT), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them."
A lady Senator called, and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Florida, on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
A senior Senator called, and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times, and never had to have one of those." I double-checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this, he said, "Look, I've been to China four times, and every time they have accepted my American Express!"
AND FINALLY:
A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady . After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country, and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" So, I scoured a map of the state of New York, and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal"
Why the USA is in trouble (these are supposedly all from politicians).
A Washington, D.C., airport ticket agent offers some examples of why the country is in trouble!
I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight, and the passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look stupid, calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts; Capetown is in Africa," Her response - click.
A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to expla in that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state!"
I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."
An aide for a cabinet member once called, and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a one hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."
An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am, and got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
A New York lawmaker called, and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing), I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, California, is (FAT), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them."
A lady Senator called, and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Florida, on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
A senior Senator called, and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times, and never had to have one of those." I double-checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this, he said, "Look, I've been to China four times, and every time they have accepted my American Express!"
AND FINALLY:
A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady . After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country, and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" So, I scoured a map of the state of New York, and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal"
Saturday humor
Sad, but true, there are people out there like this.
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello.. I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah..that one does work...
Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
And last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello.. I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah..that one does work...
Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
And last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Just a junkie
I've become quite a news junkie in the last year and a half. I buy my news magazines every week and when I have a chunk of time during my run-run-run and go-go-go life, I read the online news and veg out in front of Headline news. Sometimes I just don't have the luxury of just sitting and reading what's going on in the world. So I started looking for a news show I could watch every day that wouldn't take up a lot of time and would still keep me current in the world. Then I heard (I don't recall from where) about the "best news show on tv." Wow! Sign me up for that. Turns out it's on MSNBC and it is factual, humorous, and informative. Countdown With Keith Olbermann presents the news and not the rhetoric and Olbermann's smarmy sense of humor is just what the doctor ordered especially when listing the worse people of the day or dissing Bill O'Reilly or Ann Coulter (dubbed a hysterical Coultergeist by Olbermann). Olbermann counts down the 5 biggest news stories of the days and offers commentary and guest pundits. I think the show is just wonderful and Olbermann, a former ESPN sports caster can kibbitz with the best of them. It's worth checking out if you have MSNBC. It's on Monday through Friday at 8 and again at midnight.
peace out,
paul
peace out,
paul
mmmm.....tastes like glue
Here's a novel idea (I think). The Austrian postal service has teamed up with Haagen-Dazs and launched stamps that are ice cream flavored. The stamps feature Haagen-Dazs ice cream on the stamps and come in such flavors as Macadamia Nut Brittle, Cookies & Cream and Strawberry Cheesecake. Yummy! One can have dessert and get the letters sent out at the same time. I wonder if one would get sick and die (ala Susan on Seinfeld) if a whole bunch were licked in one sitting. There is no word on if any of these stamps will be ok for lactose intolerant people.
peace,
paul
peace,
paul
life imitates art imitates life......
Earlier this year there was a movie called The World's Fastest Indian. It was the true story of Burt Munro and his attempt at the world's fastest land speed record on an Indian motorcycle. A new contender has emerged in the quest for the world's fastest speed but Munro doesn't really have much to worry about in terms of his record being broken. Bob Cleveland decided on July 4 to take his tractor mower, a Snapper with a 23 hp Briggs & Stratton v-twin modified engine (whew!), and attempt the speed of 104 mph at the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah. Originally Cleveland was going to shoot for 100mph but his sponsor is 104+ Octane Boost. Sadly, Cleveland did not make his goal; he only got up to 81mph. According to Cleveland, however, he's "been 85 before-many years ago." Just for the record, the typical speed of one of those mowers is 6-8mph. Next year maybe Cleveland will attempt a high speed chase on one of California's freeways. Wouldn't that be a sight?
peace,
paul
peace,
paul
Thursday, July 06, 2006
It's a gay gay world
The pride parade is only two days away and I felt like getting into the spirit early. My spouse has gaydar (and sometimes it seems he thinks EVERYONE is gay; I don't have gaydar and wouldn't know another gay unless they kissed me on the mouth. I also never exaggerate.) Anyway, the rumor mill has been churning fast and furious lately over whether the new Superman, 26-year-old Brandon Routh (rhymes with Mouth), is gay or not. His costar in the movie, Kevin Spacey, has also been rumored to be gay and the director of the film, Bryan Singer, really is gay. Wow! This could be the gayest movie since Brokeback Mountain. Another celebrity whose sexuality has been speculated about is 29-year-old Taylor "Soul Patrol" Hicks (of American Idol fame). Who knows whether these two are gay or not. Maybe we'll find out one day when they decide to come out, a la Ellen Degeneres or maybe we'll never know even as their popularity wanes, which it eventually will. What is certain, at least in my humble mind, is that we do need some new gay icons for the younger generation. For you women out there, there's LeAnn Rimes. Ok, she's not really gay but she does like to hang out in gay bars. Why? Because, according to her, we're more fun. We are more fun! Show me a party where there are gays and lesbians mixed in with heterosexuals and I'll show you the table that's the loudest and elicits the most laughs.
Happy Pride!
peace,
paul
Happy Pride!
peace,
paul
mid-week humor 2
Once again, the Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
mid-week humor
Subject: Something to think about from a strictly mathematical viewpoint: What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been in situations where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 101%? What equals 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. Then H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% AND, look how far the love of God will take you L- O- V- E-O-F-G-O-D12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%
Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that: While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Love of God that will put you over the top!
Monday, July 03, 2006
Coming soon to YOUR street corner
Does the US really need another convenient store? These things are everywhere (like Wal-Mart). The Japanese seem to think we don't have enough of them. On the heels of four outlets that have opened in Los Angeles, the Family Mart markets will soon be opening 200 more stores across the country by the year 2009. In Japan, convenient stores are called conbini and these "new" convenient stores will feature such items as fresh sushi, the ability to buy tickets to movies and baseball games and, of course, tickets to Disneyland in Tokyo. However, there is no gas and it's designed for the household that makes $80,000 or more in income. And one can rest assured that management will be considered just like everyone else that works in the store. During the application process, any potential applicant for a US manager position who said no to cleaning toilets (like the hired help) was not hired. That's what I call fair and balanced.
paul
paul
POP! it
I listen to the radio alot and I enjoy a wide range, wide wide range of music. I can listen to classical for a while and then suddenly decide I want to hear some rap (not the hardcore stuff though) but what I really enjoy is true blue bubblegum pop. I haven't heard much b.p. lately. It's called bubblegum pop because it's like chewing gum; it's flavorful for a short while and then it quickly goes flat and it's time to move on to the next thing, or the next piece of gum (whichever comes first). There has been some really good b.p. in the last ten years. Any early uptempo Britney Spears songs (and by early I mean from her first two albums only); anything uptempo from 'Nsync; Eiffel 65's Blue; Hanson's "MMMBop" (still one of my all time favs); and Aqua's "Barbie Girl." These are songs that are so sweet that they make my teeth ache. I'm ready for another really good dance infused pop song. It seems to me that the British enjoy their saccharine sweet pop more than Americans; that's just based on what I've seen and heard. As Madonna pointed out in her 80's dance hit "Into The Groove" (when people still thought she was a flash in the pan), I'm waiting.......
paul
paul
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