movie minute

Funeral Fun: What do you get when you mix together an uptight British family, a funeral, a shocking secret involving a midget and a drug that is most definitely not valium? You get this ridiculously funny movie about just how far people will go to protect the memory of the departed. Death At A Funeral (R) comes along as the summer blockbuster season putters to a close. The film starts out with an upsetting but surprisingly funny faux pas involving the wrong body being delivered for a funeral. Matthew Macfadyen (Mr. Darcy from the hit movie Pride & Prejudice) plays Daniel, the less successful and more stressed out son of the deceased. As Daniel's family gathers for the somber occasion, Daniel discovers something upsetting about his father and tries, at all costs, to stop the secret from getting out and making sure his father has the most dignified and moving funeral possible. The funeral is definitely moving; dignified is quite a different story.

This film features some very funny cast members. I must point out the standout performance of Alan Tudyk (Knocked Up) who plays Simon, the first person to be affected by the drug. Tudyk's performance is practically a movie unto itself; one that offers the elastic faced actor to offer up most of the movies hysterical moments. The film also features the usually quite arresting Peter Dinklage (The Station Agent) and while he does do his best in the role of Peter, the midget with money on his mind, he does seem out of his element and not just because of the different accents floating around him.

This film just gets more and more absurdly funny as it plows along toward the inevitable conclusion of the delivery of the eulogy; how it gets there is all the fun and one would have to be in a coma to not have at least a few guffaws. Just be warned there are a couple of gross out gags (thankfully those do not include upchucking, however, one does include something worse). The film's only weak point is the storyline between smitten and lurking Justin (played by Ewen Bremner) and Martha (played by Daisy Donovan).

Maven muppet director Frank Oz offers up an alternative to those blue over all the summer sequels; a late summer gem and hopefully a sleeper hit that the grown-up crowd will enjoy.

Bags of popcorn (out of 5): 3.75

paul

Gonzo, Gonzo, Gone

Gonzogate is finally over. U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, whose tenure was marred by controversy over political firings and perjuring himself in front of Congress, finally offered his resignation today. This comes just a couple of weeks after Karl Rove (Bush's "Brain") stepped down and that was followed by the replacement of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld.

Bye, Bye, Berto.


paul

weekly post from August 24, 2007

Hello friends & loved ones,

Another week and one more day closer to September and fall. I won't remind you what comes after that. How is it that summer is near the end already? How is it possible that we are so close to starting a new decade? Where in the heck does the time go?

I don't know how your week went but my week was not the best one; in fact the whole second part of July and first part of August was not the best for me. I had something this past week and it wasn't pretty. Yes, I spent the better part of the week praying to the porcelain God. For me, it was the first time in 11 1/2 years. The last time that happened was February of 1996; shortly after my birthday. Although my birthday had nothing to do with me getting sick.

It got me thinking, though, just how many movies there are in which a character gets sick; and how many there are in which we as the viewer have to actually see it. I reviewed a movie on my blog last week in which the "sick" device was used multiple times. From now on I'm going to keep a running tally on my blog of movies I see in which a character gets sick and whether or not it happens off-screen or onscreen. I really think that when it comes to losing one's cookies, the less seen the better.

Until next week: Stay safe, stay happy, and STAY HEALTHY.

love,

paul

How do you like to say it?

Check out this link to colorfully describe how one gets sick.

http://surveycentral.org/survey/20303.html

movies and more movies

Ahhhhhh, fall. The colorful foliage, the crisp air, the apples, the battening down of the hatches for the season to follow, ahhhhhh. Oh, and, of course, spending hours upon hours in a darkened room in front of a big screen. Yes, it's that time of year when the studios march out the serious films that aim to please the intellectuals and those who are soooooooo tired of the damn sequels. Enough already. Now, we have Shrek 4 and 5 and Spider-Man 4 to look forward to in the coming years not to mention the last two Harry Potter films. Oy, vey!!!!

Well for me fall and winter is a time to see all of the films that will eventually be vying for the little gold men. It's an exciting time for me as I pride myself on seeing ALL of the major nominees. The better to offer my humble opinion on who REALLY SHOULD be winning those men. So, without further ado and before the multiple critics and awards groups weigh in on their winners (hello Boston, hello, NY, hello LA!!!!), I will list the movies coming out in the next four months that I'm most looking forward to. I'll also offer a few early predictions on who will score a nomination for the big O.

I hope you enjoy the list as much as I've enjoyed putting it together.

Rendition-Blond funny girl Reese Witherspoon in a drop dead serious role? Yes, with Oscar winners Alan Arkin and Meryl Streep thrown in for good measure.

The Kingdom-Sydney Bristow (Alias) and Ray Charles impersonator together???? With hunkier as the years go by Jason Bateman???? Yes, it's true and it's also got a great director and is just one of MANY films this fall to deal with the quagmire in the Middle East.

The Brave One-Yes, we know Jodie Foster can act tough but what happens when she goes on a crime spree????? Hmmm, let's start jotting down ideas now as she goes face to face with cop Terrence Howard (not to mention some unlucky thugs).

Into The Wild-I read the book twice (only one of a literal handful of books I've read more than once) and this will either be a serious Oscar contender or a disappointing adaptation of a beloved book (remember, Memoirs Of A Geisha? Unfortunately, I still do.). Sean Penn has proven before how superb he is as a director; don't let us down Pennie.

Michael Clayton-Oscar winner and perennial hottie George Clooney and Oscar nominee Tom Wilkinson in a "layered" thriller set in a Manhattan law firm. I recently saw the trailer and was quite intrigued. Let's hope there's plenty more where that came from.

Grace Is Gone-Another movie that deals with the tragedy in Iraq. This one has a somber and unfunny John Cusack (who's had Oscar buzz surrounding him since this movie premiered at the festivals) as a widower whose wife was killed in Iraq and must now figure out how to tell his daughters.

Dan In Real Life-Steve Carell could read the phone book and I'd probably pee myself laughing. Perennial beauty and Oscar winner Juliette Binoche plays a woman who is dating the brother of Carell's character but he wants Binoche for himself.

Enchanted-I recently saw the trailer for this movie as well and it does put a little spin on all of those fairy tales. A prince and princess go from technicolor animation to real-life NYC. Throw in a little McDreamy (yes, from Grey's Anatomy) and you've got the makings of a hopefully very clever film with some great fish out of water gags. Thankfully it was changed from a Chicago setting with the princess being mistaken for a stripper. And, yes, it's a film with the terrific Oscar nominee Amy Adams......ahhhhhhh.

The Kite Runner-Just had the pleasure of reading this book earlier this year. Wonderful story and portrayal of 1970's Afghanistan. A tale of two friends who are torn apart by fear and silence. Again, either it will really work or have the book lovers hurling vitriolic stones.

Lions For Lambs-Ok, I'm not into this movie because of Tom Cruise at all. It is an interesting pairing of Cruise and Streep (who COULD get her 15th Oscar nod). Throw in Redford as a director and you've got the makings of a potential several category sweep when it comes to the nominations.

I Am Legend-This reads and feels like a movie one would see in the middle of the summer. Will Smith as the only "living" thing on earth after a plague wipes out most of humanity. The word is that there is hardly any dialogue at all in the first hour; just Smith and his trusty German shepherd. Kudos to the filmmakers for filming this in NYC and making it look like a true ghost town.

Leatherheads-The film's premise doesn't sound that interesting to me but the cast very much does. John Krasinski (American version of The Office), Renee Zellweger, and George Clooney. Directed by Clooney as well.

National Treasure:Book Of Secrets-I know, I know, it's a remake of 2004 popcorn adventure thriller. Why do I want to see it? Not because of Cage who is back as treasure hunter Ben Gates but because of the so-prim-and-proper-it hurts Helen Mirren who plays his mother. I just want to see her letting her hair down and shedding that corset.

Atonement-Another adaptation from another beloved book.

Some predictions for Oscar nods come January.

Marion Cotillard-La Vie En Rose (sure bet) ****
Julie Christie-Away From Her (sure bet) ****
Reese Witherspoon-Rendition
Jodie Foster-The Brave One
Jason Bateman-The Kingdom
Evan Rachel Wood-Across The Universe (sure bet) ****
Clive Owen-Elizabeth:The Golden Age
Tom Wilkinson-Michael Clayton
John Cusack-Grace Is Gone (sure bet) *****
Javier Bardem-No Country For Old Men
Meryl Streep-Lions For Lambs
Laura Linney-The Savages (sure bet) *****

Films

The Golden Compass
Lions For Lambs
The Kite Runner
Into The Wild

Run, Beckham, Run

I guess scientists didn't have anything better to do this week so they decided to calculate just which animal does run faster.

The scientists calculated the top speeds of five meat-eating dinosaurs and using the muscular and skeletal information of these animals, here's what they came up with:

Velociraptor: 24 mph
T-Rex: 18 mph
Compsognathus: 40 mph
Ostrich (fastest living thing on 2 legs): 35 mph
Speed of a top human sprinter: 25 mph

This means that if the T-Rex were actually after David Beckham he might be in some serious trouble. Posh, you might want to cover your eyes!!!!

paul

weekly post from August 19, 2007

Hello my friends & loved ones,

I was at a bar several weeks back and made a fool of myself. How? Well, I had had one too many glasses of white zin and started making a scene with someone at the bar. It was foolish, idiotic, and totally not who I usually am. Thankfully I haven't found myself starring in a video on youtube.

Youtube is my favorite site; I can spend hours watching videos on that site. It's somewhat addicting. People put anything and everything up there. Very few clips are truly funny but most of them are head shakers. What the hell was that person thinking, anyway? Oh, wait, they weren't. Kind of like my scene in the bar.

We live in an age where just about every phone you see comes equipped with a camera. Many people don't even think twice about taking pictures, even if YOU might be in it. And watch out if there's a fight or someone committing a crime or a highway accident or a bridge collapsing (see the clip someone took of the bridge in Minnesota collapsing). It gives new meaning to the phrase, "Smile, you're on candid camera." It's hard to know who's around with a camera. I offer this to you as someone who is thinking their lucky stars that, so far, I haven't seen a clip of me at my "best" in a gay bar making one hell of a scene.

I was inspired to write about this topic by a story I saw on Keith Olbermann's show this week. Yes, I've often talked about "my" Keith. I'd meet him in a heartbeat. His sense of humor is very similar to mine and he's entertaining and he reports the news.

So, to repeat an oft heard phrase from the 80's show Hill Street Blues, 'Let's be careful out there.'
Stay safe, stay happy, and stay healthy.

love,

paul

my next Everest

I think Josh Groban has a fabulous voice; so rich and melodic. I've sung a couple of his songs in church and the next one I'm going to tackle is the song in the clip below. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

paul


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls7ila3srzI

Turn it up, August

Who says there's nothing good on the radio? Not me. Here's a few songs I'm currently enjoying and one that I could stand to NEVER EVER hear again.

"Thnks Fr Th Mmrs" (or thanks for the memories if the vowels are included) by Fall Out Boy who happen to be one of the best groups of the late kk00's (that's double k, double 00 or the 2000's). Bonus points: The lead singer of the group sports an androgynous look and the lyrics sound giddily gay.

"Teenagers" by My Chemical Romance (another great group of the late kk00's).

"4 In The Morning" by Gwen Stefani

"Summer Love" by Justin Timberlake, however, is a song I'd be fine with never hearing for the rest of my life.

peace,

paul

movie minute

The IN crowd: Yes, it's the third remake of a 1956 film about aliens from another planet who take over everyday human beings and make them stolid, automated persons. One of the ultimate non-conformity-is-dangerous-to-your-health movies returns in the form of The Invasion starring a radiant Nicole Kidman and a somnambulant Daniel Craig (yes, Mr. I'm-the-new-James-Bond).

If you've seen the 1956 film or the 1978 remake or even the crappy 1993 remake of a remake (Body Snatchers), then you know the basic plot of the film. A meteor hits the earth and the material is contaminated with a foreign substance that gets into a human host and turns that human into a less interesting and less expressive form of their former self. It's very similar to The Stepford Wives (another movie that suffered an inferior remake) except the trouble comes from another planet instead of our own planet.

Nicole Kidman plays Carol Bennell (yes, this time she's a female; the males were played by Kevin McCarthy in 56 and Donald Sutherland in 78) who discovers that something is not right with one of her patients and takes a sample of the alien substance to her lover, Daniel Craig, to investigate.

The film continues as more and more people are infected, or turned, many times forcefully and by a mob, until it seems that Nicole Kidman and her son are the only two on the planet not infected. The film is very timely with the recent outbreaks of SARS, the birdflu virus, smallpox in the midwest and the looming threat of biological warfare, however, the ending is too pat; too easy; too predictable. And there's not even a twist ending like there is in the '78 version. There is one gruesome scene in which two people off themselves in order for the turned people to see who reacts with shock so that they too can be turned.

The casting of this film is interesting; Nicole Kidman seems to work as she gives it her all but Craig is sadly miscast. Tony, Golden Globe, Emmy winner and Broadway star Jeffrey Wright, however, who plays scientist Dr. Stephen Galeano, gives his performance his all and it would have been just fine if HE had been Kidman's male lead star instead of Craig. But then poor Nic would have had to kiss a black guy.

The only two things this film has going for it are its timeliness and Kidman and Wright although his role is sadly too small. One other caveat; for those of you who are squeamish, the way in which the body snatchers turn the uninfected is truly gross. Don't say I didn't warn you.

It's not a surprising invasion but it does cause some fear in the fact that what happens if a virus that cannot be contained does knock on our door.

Bags of popcorn (out of 5): 2.5
Timeliness Factor: 5

A new superhero in NYC

Check out these clips of Jimmy Justice, recently featured on Countdown With Keith Olbermann, as he busts the people who bust you. According to James Huntley, the NYC traffic enforcement union president, the rules allow officers to sometimes park where others cannot. He also says, "I'm like really upset that he's doing this because now he's causing the NYC members to get embarrassed, they have to go home, they live in the city neighborhoods, um, and they haven't done anything wrong." However, former NYC Transportation Commissioner, Sam Schwartz, says that "besides the cursing, yelling, and name calling, Jimmy Justice has every right." YOU be the judge.


Enjoy,

Paul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CEFAifA1vY&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=052S1yg-zR0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJJw9fSM0es&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CELZSD1ijWE&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0rSqX-elZY&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jf-tcjc87hw&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DytIyFgtvKI&mode=related&search=

another video

Here are the four Presidents that make up Mount Rushmore in S.D. speaking about Bush, our current President. All of the comments that Bush makes are ones he actually said in real life.

Enjoy,

paul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pw2UQziI4aY&mode=related&search=

youtube video

I was not offended by this video. I would be offended if the gay guy who offended the waiter was at my table. The whole world doesn't need to know one's sexual orientation. I do want to know, however, why the waiter or the manager didn't tell the guy at the table to keep it down or they will have to leave. Just a thought.

Enjoy the video,

paul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgD_ZOZOyrk&feature=dir

movie minute with a clip

Bourne one more time: If you haven't seen the first two movies, The Bourne Identity and The Bourne Supermacy then get thee to a video store stat. Or not. You can actually catch the third movie, The Bourne Ultimatum, without having seen the first two movies but if you want to know exactly how Jason Bourne (played by Matt Damon) got to where he is now, you might want to check out the first two. You'll enjoy the first and may not like the second but the third time is definitely the charm.

Bourne has been trying to find out who he was and what happened to him and how he became a killing machine. It involves a cover-up (naturally) of epic proportions with a secret CIA building in NYC (huh?) and lots of assassins. The film's "regulars" are also back. Julia Stiles, Joan Allen, Scott Glenn and David Strathairn joins the cast as a seedy CIA agent bent on taking out Bourne once and for all and anyone else who gets in his way.

When a journalist for the Guardian discovers crucial information about Jason Bourne he publishes it and Bourne makes a beeline for the journalist. Paddy Considine, a wonderful actor, plays the journalist whom Bourne must protect.

The film boasts such locations as Berlin, Madrid, Morocco, England, Paris, and, of course, NYC. It also features some great cat and mouse scenes with a "you are there" look to the film. Paul Greengrass, director of last year's best film, United 93 (in my opinion), directs this film as well. He gives it an urgency and intensity that has not been matched this summer.

The film really does speed by and there are very very few flat moments. So for a good time call Bourne at your local multiplex. And check out the spoof of the film from youtube. The link is included below.

Bags of popcorn (out of 5): 4.25


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qA1tM4lIjIU

Some terrific pics for Tuesday

This guy, Henri Ayala, a Colombian with the Zippo Circus, shows off his balancing skills. Yes, he's actually standing on a chair on a high wire. I'm guessing there is a huge net below him to catch his possible fall. Now that's is truly incredible!!! Photo from BBC News.

paul

A car caught between, not a rock and a hard place but a wall and a handrail in Central Moscow. According to witnesses the driver walked away unscathed. Photo from BBC News.

paul

This lego man appeared on Zandvoort beach in Holland. It's huge. It's either trick photography or someone's idea for the next summer blockbuster: Attack of the Legos: The Building Is Over.

Photo was found on BBC News.

paul

more cool clips

I really like clever magic and these clips are really neat.

Enjoy,

paul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNSnSbH05qo&NR=1


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XW3kpAbcwn4&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ibtk5PxDDtQ&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvipCNfMUz8&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VK8GkVm4G10&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ET_MKohV0xU&mode=related&search=

Commercials can be cool

Here are a few links to some entertaining commercials from youtube. Most of them are from other countries. There are also some other neat clips.

Enjoy,

paul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvTU0rlhBVw&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSOr3KfPc3A&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Yw7oX5CXhk&mode=related&search=

weekly post from August 3, 2007

Hello friends & loved ones,

It's a hot one today and has been all week. So far today it's gotten up to 97 degrees. I pray you are staying cool.

Jim and I recently watched Jay Bakker's reality show, "One Punk Under God." It was broadcast on the Sundance channel last fall and after watching it I developed a new respect for him. I think I got more out of it than Jim did. I was also fortunate enough to get to shake his hand and have my picture taken with him (twice) at conference in Arizona. I felt like a little schoolgirl with the famous quarterback. The first time I stood in line for my picture with him, instead of hitting the take picture button Jim hit the power button. So I waited in line again and this time the picture was definitely taken. I am so proud of him for the work he is doing with GLBT people.

I recently went out to a local bar a couple of times and both times I handed people one of my deacon cards; a Jay Bakker in the making or just coincidence? Only time will tell.

One other thing that touched me this week was the reemergence of Paul Potts (not PolPot as Jim commented). My friend Dougie sent me his cd in the mail after I had forgotten about him. Paul who? Paul Potts, the guy who earlier this summer simply wowed the judges on Britain's version of America's Got Talent by singing Nessun Dorma. I've included the link below; watch the whole thing. The best part of it, aside from the singing, is the look on crabby Simon Cowell's face. I remember watching it for the first time and both Jim and I thought for sure that he was lip synching. I even poked around online to watch other clips of other tenors singing the same song to see if it sounded the exact same or not. This guy, who worked as a cell phone saleperson, came out of nowhere. He took a chance on national telly and sang his heart out; his passion, his dream. I've often talked about following dreams and passions and taking risks and look where it got this guy.

In other news, today we had to put our 12 1/2 year old Golden Retriever to sleep. He seemed to have really good days and then he would decline again. Of course once we called the vet to come, Brewster, appeared more alert and perky than he had in 6 weeks. I had no idea it would affect me the way it has; I feel empty and like I'm missing a part of my body. Never one who was a dog person, Brewster was so loyal and so loving that I will definitely miss him.

Please pray for each other as I pray for each of you. Remember to stay safe, stay healthy, and stay happy. And for something feel good watch the link at the bottom.

love,

paul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k08yxu57NA

Passing of our pal

We had to put our beloved Golden Retriever, Brewster, down today. For the past 6 weeks he's been getting thinner and thinner and eating less and less. When the vet came today he said that Brew looks like a cancer patient; we had thought that's what it was. We didn't want to put a 12 1/2 year old dog through that so we thought it best to let him go. There's no telling how long he would have kept up and suffering more and more.

Here is Brewster with our 23lb (yes, 23lbs!) cat Perry. They were both the same color and sometimes if Perry was sleeping right up against Brewster it was hard to tell he was there.

Who will look at me intently while I'm eating my dinner? Who will drool on the floor when I feed him a cookie or snack? Who will whine from downstairs that he wants to come up if Jim and I are napping and he's still downstairs? He would have to be prompted to come up, he wouldn't do it on his own. Who will run off down to the creek if I'm outside with him and turn my back for a second? Who will find the grossest carcass and sniff at it and lick it and eat it? No, it won't be my spouse Jim. I'm going to miss that wonderful dog.

paul

movie minute

Hair Galore: First things first: Let's get the original Hairspray, directed in 1988 by John Waters, out of the way. The film is not so much a musical as it is a movie with sometimes too long scenes showing characters dancing. It's 1962 Baltimore and desegregation is one of the main themes. Most notably desegregating the popular Corny Collins tv show. This is a show whiter than snow and "shake my groove thang" Tracy Turnblad is just the one to get the show colorized. There's something else going on in the film as well and that is being comfortable enough in one's own skin to get on national tv to shake it like a tailfeather. In today's "everyone wants their 15 minutes" culture, it's a timely theme. The original sags a lot and doesn't have verve or fun.

Fast forward 14 years later and the film becomes a Broadway musical. The 2007 film of Hairspray is based on the original and the musical. This time around instead of Ricki Lake, newcomer Nikki Blonsky takes on Tracy's toe tapping and hip hopping. Whereas Lake's Tracy was pushy and too competitive; Blonsky is perky and determined to win without resorting to petulance or arrogance.

John Travolta fills Devine's shoes as Edna Turnblad and I have to tell you I never thought that Travolta would make such an appealing and cheek pinchable woman. Whereas Devine's Edna was harsh and unpleasant; Travolta's is a waif of a housewife with only good intentions.

The film is pure fun much like last year's High School Musical in which one of that movie's stars appears in this film as Link Larkin. The numbers with the exception of two are full of pizzazz and energy. There are some leftovers in this film from the original: Jerry Stiller who played the father in the original plays Mr. Pinky in this version; Ricki Lake plays a talent scout near the end; and John Waters plays a flasher. One other thing very worth noting is one of my favorite young actresses Amanda Bynes. Bynes plays the best friend of Tracy, Penny Pingleton and Bynes's winsome face and facial expressions are a delight. She should have a great career ahead of her.

Hairspray is full of fun and finger snapping and although the ending does differ from the original it does make sense especially in today's atmosphere of total inclusion. This is a film amid the string of summer sequels worth seeing more than once.

Bags of popcorn: (out of 5) 3.75

paul

Hump Day Humor

All Time Dumbest Questions Asked By Banff Park Tourists

Yes, they're ALL TRUE as heard at the information kiosks manned by ParksCanada staff!

1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing"signs?

2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose?

3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?"
Park Information Staff: "'Elk.'"
Tourist: "Oh."

4. Are the bears with collars tame?

5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?

6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should Istore it in my tent?

7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?

8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today -- could you tell me what itwas?

9. Are there birds in Canada?

10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?

11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?

12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?

13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan?

14. If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario?

15. Which is the way to the Columbia Rice fields?

16. How far is Banff from Canada?

17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day?

18. Do they search you at the B.C. border?

19. When we enter B.C., do we have to convert our money to British pounds?

20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? ALL Canadians own one, don't they?

21. Are there phones in Banff?

22. So it's eight kilometers away... is that in miles?

23. We're on the decibel system, you know.

24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost??

25. Is that two kilometers by foot or by car?

26. Don't you Canadians know anything?

27. Where do you put the animals at night?

28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?"
Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint the bottom."
Tourist: "Oh!"

paul