Well this is just bizarre. A man in Vero Beach, FL was arrested on December 4 and faces charges of assault. The weapon a Mickey D's cheeseburger. Yes, those pickles and processed meat can be quite dangerous.
Apparently, the man and his girlfriend were arguing in the car outside of their home. When the man would not let the woman out of the car, she threw his drink out the window (isn't that the logical response?) As a result, the man took his cheeseburger (or maybe it was hers) and smashed it into her face. After the two of them did finally get out of the car, he proceeded to mash the burger into her face a second time. Bluto would be so proud.