Humor

Good ole Red Skelton and long live clean humor......

Red Skelton's Perfect Recipe For Marriage:

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

I take my wife everywhere..... but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"

Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

I married Miss Right I just didn't know her first name was Always.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

The last fight was my fault though! My wife asked "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"

peace,

paul