My thanks to my friend Lady Di for sending me this. These, in my opinion, are funny. The comments after each one are my own (changed from the original comments)....
In Honour of Stupid People . . . In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (Oh, crap!)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (you're kidding! How is that possible?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (make sure your 3-year-old is not the designated driver...wouldn't be prudent)
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (let's see...oven=heat, ok, yeah I guess it would be hot).
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Isn't that the best time to use it? One less thing I'd have to do when I wake up)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (...and officer, that's why I stole the bag.)
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (Wait! How do I use regular soap???)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But you don't have to; if you like literally frozen dinners).
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (Why? What could happen? And would that be my body or your body?)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (Is that not the point?)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (Is there ANOTHER use I don't know about?)
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (I'll take, "What is the OTHER use" for $500, please).
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.." (like ohmygosh, I don't get it......)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (Damnit, why did I buy this stupid costume? I knew I should have chosen Batman).
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Was this really a problem somewhere? SCARY!)
peace,
paul
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