weekly post-Dec. 30: The One With The Reflection

Hello Friends and loved ones and Happy New Year to each of you,

Those of you that are fans of the tv show Friends will recognize the title of my post as an homage to the 10yr show. Each episode's title started with the words "The One With...."

It's the end of the year and I'm feeling a bit reflective. Why do we allow fear, doubt, uncertainty, anxiety, and busyness to interfere with our relationships? Why do we work so hard at something and then just throw it away? I'm not perfect and I've run away from some things this year that I have since regret and every day I wonder if I'm good enough, smart enough, handsome enough, etc.... Jim says I'm ready to be a deacon in our church, I say I'm not ready. I have to ask myself though, do I say that because I'm really not ready or because I'm letting fear run my life? Jim would say it's the latter and I would tend to agree with him. I've been with Jim just under 6 years and I still sometimes think about leaving; I've thought about it this past year. Every time I think about leaving though this little voice keeps saying, "But you love him. He makes you laugh. You two have fun together. You two are good together, you two work." At this point I might as well stay. If I was really going to leave it should have been three months after we met as that is when Jim was diagnosed with cancer. Three months! I had literally just moved in with him. Why are we so afraid of getting hurt and of not working at our relationships? Why do we want to take the easy way out? It's not like the world will end if we end up getting hurt. We humans may be a whiny, sniveling, and spoiled bunch but we have shown time and time again that when push comes to shove we pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off. Great things and accomplishments didn't happen as a result of people running away from them; they embraced them, they endured them, they worked for them and that is what makes them great accomplishments.

Picture it: More than 2,000 years ago in a house in Jerusalem, disciples and other believers are sitting around waiting for Jesus. They wait and wait and wait until finally one of the disciples finds a note which reads, "Hey, disciples, I don't want to be crucified. You want bread, break it yourself. I'm outta here." What a different world this might have been if that had happened. Instead Jesus embraced his journey and now he reigns glorious every single day more than 2,000 years later. The Supertramp song isn't called "Take The Long Way Home" for nothing. Let's keep that in mind in 2006 when we think things are hard or difficult or we think of running away from something we've put so much effort into. Let's strive to be better people and do great works and change the world for the better. Let's think of others and not be selfish or petulant. I'll follow my own advice, will you?

And erase the F.A.D. (fear, anxiety, doubt).