movie minute

Basic premise: 14 years ago, a "little" movie called Basic Instinct was released and immediately after the movie came out the talk of a sequel began. Cut to 2006 and Sharon Stone is back as Catherine Trammell, the bisexual, psychopath, in Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction. When we last saw Trammell she was having heterosexual sex and we saw her hand reaching for an ice pick. This time Trammell, living in Britain (why? did the US throw her out?), seeks therapy from psychologist Dr. Michael Glass (David Morrissey) after he does a forensics analysis on her when she is accused of murder. Needless to say, but I'll say it anyway, the people around Dr. Glass start dying and he soon finds that he is having one hell of a mind game played on him. Stone is at her over the top best in the role that shot her to stardom 14 years ago. I have to say though that whatever the writers got paid for this movie, it wasn't enough. It's truly just top-notch. The chair I'm sitting in is soaked; that's how much sarcasm I'm dripping with. In one scene, a paralyzed passenger (in a car) says to Stone's character, "Guess what? I can't move." She replies, "Yeah, well, you don't have to we're in a car." Really? I was sure it was an airplane and by the way, in that scene, no one, not even one of the Bodine brothers, could be driving over 100mph around curves and corners and get off with their heads lolling around and their eyes closed. In another wonderfully written scene, Stone's character tells the cops that she's certain the guy was breathing before the car went over the bridge because, "he was making me come." Give those writers a raise. And coming in the year 2020, we'll have Basic Instinct 3: Trammell's Target in which Trammell becomes obsessed with the resident playboy at the nursing home she resides in. Soon the females who show the least bit of interest in said playboy start dying. Get your tickets now.

The other movie I went to see was the comedy, and I use that term loosely, Larry The Cable Guy: Health Inspector. Larry, aka Dan Whitney, is a stand up comic and I went into this movie having never seen his tv show or comedy routine. The only thing I knew about him was his catchphrase which is, "Git-R-Done." I have no idea what that means; it must be a Southern redneck thing; that only sounds redundant. I can say that because I'm from the South and I've seen Northern rednecks. Larry must solve the mystery of several cases of food poisoning at some of the city's swankiest restaurants. Larry makes more than several gay jokes at the expense of his boss (who doesn't seem to be gay in the movie) and it made me wonder if maybe the real Larry was trying to cover something up about his own personal life. Whatever. And also Larry (the real one or the movie one) being a health inspector is about as believable as me being a neurosurgeon. And I laughed out loud only once but I can't remember what it was that was funny. In fact, I can't remember if I even really saw the movie.

Both movies are fun for escapism but once you leave the theatre, you'll forget what you had been there for (maybe).

peace out,

paul