hump day humor

50 ways to offend everyone.

Alabama
Hell Yes, We Have Electricity

Alaska
11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong

Arizona
But It's A Dry Heat

Arkansas
Literacy Ain't Everything

California
By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

Colorado
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut
Like Massachusetts,Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet

Delaware
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

Florida
Ask Us About Our Grandkids, And Our Voting Skills

Georgia
We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)

Idaho
More Than Just Potatoes, Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois
Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa
We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas
First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky
Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana
We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine
We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland
If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's And Our Senators Are More Corrupt
Michigan
First Line Of Defense - From The Canadians

Minnesota
10,000 Lakes...And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi
Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Honest Elections

Nebraska
Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada
Hookers and Poker

New Hampshire
Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey
You Want A ##$%##! Motto?I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here

New Mexico
Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York
You Have The Right To Remain Silent,You Have The Right To An Attorney, And No Right To Self Defense

North Carolina
Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota
We Really Are One Of The 50 States

Ohio
At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma
Like The Play, But No Singing

Oregon
Spotted Owl...It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania
Cook With Coal

Rhode Island
We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina
Remember The Civil War? Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet

South Dakota
Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee
Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum

Texas
Don't Mess with Texas

Utah
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont
Ay, Yep

Virginia
Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix

Washington
Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor

West Virginia
One Big Happy Family...Really

Wisconsin
Come Cut Cheese

Wyoming
Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared