weekly post from June 17, 2006

"Fading flower's flown far from here" edition

Hello friends & loved ones,

It's a hot and oppressive heat day in Western, NY. I met a friend for breakfast at IHOP and Jim had a funeral after which we were to go see the movie The Lake House but it was already 2:30 and neither one of us really had an huge desire to see it (it's a better DVD movie, I'm sure) so we ended up coming home. Now we are just relaxing and trying to stay cool.

We had dinner with the "mother of the church" (my title for the deacon who gave Jim and me our first communion prayer) and her "no-nonsense, no mincing words" partner. I have to tell you it's extremely refreshing being in the company of people who tell it like it is and don't put up with all the b.s. that people like to roll around in. I noticed this past week that I've changed; credit it to living with Jim for 6 years, my growing up, just becoming wiser, or all three but it's a change that I've been aware of since my 30th birthday. It's been a gradual and tentative change as if I needed to become accustomed to it slowly, grow into it. This past week I noticed that the change has taken on a life of its own; I don't want to mince words anymore, I don't want to deal with childish and immature behavior, I don't want to hold back and, likewise, I don't want people to hold back with me nor do I expect them to put up with any childish behavior that I may exhibit. It's weird, I've got a new found confidence and assertiveness that I'm still getting used to. It's kind of like being behind the wheel of a really fast sports car while at the same time getting used to all of the controls. It's really an exhilarating feeling.